Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Family Games

"NEVER LET NO ONE PUT SMUT UP ON YOUR NAME" -KENDRICK LEMAR 

Let’s get one thing straight—I own my past. Every mistake, every lesson, every step forward. When you carry your cross, you don’t drag it—you lift it, learn from it, and move the hell on. As emphasized in an article on WriteCome, "One of the main reasons why admitting mistakes is important for personal growth is because it allows us to learn and grow from our experiences." But some people? They don’t know how to do that. Instead, they dust off your past, trying to use it as a smokescreen for their own mess.

If you’ve ever dealt with a toxic family member, you know how this works. They don’t take accountability. They rewrite history. They twist things to make themselves the victim. Some may have mirrored their actions because it's what was taught and didn't have the inspiration or guide them away from the negative influence. Somehow we find it to be ok because they are "family" and when that doesn’t work? They dig into your past, hoping to pull you down with them.

This is exactly what happened March 20th 2024.

Killa Nanny decided to remind me of something I faced over 20 years ago, as if I haven’t already handled it, grown from it, and built something stronger because of it.

The kicker? The only reason they even brought it up was to dodge accountability for their own behavior. Classic deflection.

According to ChatGPT The message was fulled of red flags—gaslighting, deflection, veiled threats, and straight-up projection.

🚩 Threats & Intimidation:“I have a lot of information that may be of interest to you… if you want to continue playing.”– Translation: I’m trying to scare you into silence because I don’t like the truth coming out.

🚩 Deflection & Blame-Shifting: Instead of addressing her own actions, she brought up something I did 20+ years ago—which I already faced, grew from, and moved past.– Translation: Look over here, not at me!

🚩 Gaslighting & Rewriting History: Twisting past events and fabricating details about things I never said or did (like telling my brother to mess with her car). A perfect projective example of similar acts she has done like the ones mentioned in Killer Nanny – Translation: I need to create a false reality where I’m the victim and you’re the villain.

🚩 Public Smear Campaign: “I’ve already started playing through Facebook and another platform you’ll find out with the game.”– Translation: If I can’t control you privately, I’ll try to turn others against you.

If you read Killa Nanny, then you already know what’s up. But this latest response? It speaks for itself. Instead of addressing what they’ve done or a humble approach they tried to flip the script, bring up my past, and throw in a few veiled threats for good measure:

“I’m waiting for your next chapter, which I’m sure will be about that experience you went through in prison… if you want to continue playing, I have a lot of information that may be of interest to you.”

First off, that’s what we’re doing now? Threats? Trying to rewrite history? Using something I already faced and grew from to distract from your own skeletons?

If that’s not a confession wrapped in deflection, I don’t know what is.

And here’s the thing about people who do this—they’re not trying to hold you accountable. They’re trying to hide behind you. They don’t want to face their own truth, so they weaponize yours. But that only works if you’re still running from it. And me? I’m not running from a damn thing.

Why Owning Your Mistakes is a Power Move

We all mess up. That’s part of life. What separates the real from the fake is whether you take responsibility, learn, and move forward—or if you spend your life pointing fingers and dodging mirrors. There’s something freeing about saying, “Yeah, I did that. I faced it. And?” It takes the power away from anyone who thinks they can use it against you.

And that’s exactly what I want you to take from this: you don’t have to let anyone use your past as a weapon against you. If you’ve already done the work, owned your mistakes, and grown from them, then what’s left for them to do? They’re just exposing themselves.

But guess what? Their guilt isn’t your burden to carry.

If you’re dealing with this kind of manipulation, here are a few solid resources to help you navigate it:

📌 The Psychology of Projection in Family Dynamics – A deep dive into why people project their own issues onto others.

📌 Why Owning Your Mistakes Makes You Stronger – A great read on why accountability is a power move, not a weakness.

📌 The Impact of Toxic Family Projection – A solid breakdown of how family members use projection to manipulate situations.

In a world where deflection is often easier than reflection, choosing to own our "crosses" becomes a revolutionary act. It transforms potential weapons into mere words, devoid of power.

So, to those who attempt to shroud their faults by highlighting mine, remember: I've faced my past and emerged stronger. Can you say the same?

For a deeper understanding of how projection shapes family dynamics, consider watching this insightful video

When People Tell on Themselves, Let Them

If someone is out here running from their own truth while trying to drag yours into the light—let them. Sit back, watch the show, and remember: Silence doesn’t mean peace its holding them accountable, and the truth doesn’t need a defense. It just needs time to come to light.